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Identity Submission
5 free certifications per day. After that, $4.99/mo — or post a reel that hits 2k views for a free one.
Latest Certification Sample
NOM
The Department of Meaningless Merit
Not Officially Meaningful · Authority
Certified Professional Yapper
Level IV (Elite)
HOLDER
LEGALLY QUESTIONABLE
Awarded to
Sarah Johnson
Status
APPROVED
Certificate ID
NOM-847291-B
Issued
JUN 13, 2026
Expires
JUN 13, 2028
Special Permissions
- §May explain simple concepts for up to 45 minutes
- §Authorized to begin stories with "So basically..."
- §Permitted to send 12 consecutive voice notes
Known Side Effects
May cause involuntary eye-rolls in others within a 15-meter radius. Use responsibly.
“Not valid in any known jurisdiction.”